Martin Edmund (Mickey) Borgersen
February 1, 2018 by Jan Martin Borgersen
(Notes from my eulogy at his memorial)
We are here to say goodbye, and we are here to celebrate the life of a good man. As his son, I want to talk a bit about some of the lessons I learned from my Dad, the man everyone knew as "Mickey".
I'd like to tell this story through some of the things we found this week while cleaning out his office and filing cabinet.
1. His Bowling Shirt
This was my Dad's bowling shirt. His team was called the Ball Busters.
My Dad knew how to take ordinary situations and make them fun!
He was quick to laugh. And together with my mother he was the Jerry Stiller to my mom's Estelle Harris. My parents were George's parents on Seinfeld.
So lesson one is if you laugh quickly and easily, you will have more fun, and you will bring more joy to those around you.
2. His Perfect Attendance Certificate
I'm not sure why he kept it, but this is his certificate of perfect attendance for 8th grade, filed away in his cabinet.
My Dad was always THERE. And you make an impact when you SHOW UP.
He always showed up for me.
He was not a very religious man, but he was there for my confirmation, my wedding, and he flew to California for the baptism of his first grandchild.
He coached my T-ball team to a championship. He didn't know much about soccer, but when my soccer league needed coaches, he showed up and coached one of my teams.
He was there for every graduation, every school play, and my band's CD release party in college.
When his country needed him, he showed up and joined the Navy during the Korean war. He lost one of his best friends in that war.
When his community needed him, he was active in the Rotonda neighborhood watch, and always standing outside Publix raising money for his Shriners.
And he showed up for my Mom. She tells us the story about how, when they were teenagers, Mickey showed up on her bus on the other side of the Bronx just to see who this other guy was she was dating. We don't know what he said to him, but we know who got the girl.
Lesson number two is that you make an impact when you show up.
3. Seville chairs manual with Allan keys and wrenches
My Dad filed everything, labeled every folder, and alphabetized them. Under "S" we found:
Seville chairs with Allan keys and wrenches.
First, I don't know why he needed to keep the assembly instructions for his patio furniture. Second, I don't know he planned to find it again. My Dad was no librarian. I would have chosen "C" for "Chairs". Third, I'm still pretty amazed he put the Allan keys and wrenches in a Ziploc bag and taped them to this folder.
Seriously, my dad was always PREPARED. Even when we questioned his organizational skills.
He was also early whenever he had an appointment. One time Sinead and I were flying from California to Fort Myers. There were thunder storms all over the southeast, and our flight was delayed in Atlanta. We told Dad that we would call from Atlanta around the time the flight was going to leave, and that would give him enough time to drive an hour down to the airport in Fort Myers. But he had left before we called him from Atlanta. We had a four hour delay, but Dad was almost at the airport. So he sat in the car by the airport for five hours, in thunderstorms, waiting for us to arrive.
4. His Wall of Grandchildren
This one is by far the most important, and it's the motivation underneath all the other things I learned from my Dad.
He taught me to love deeply, illustrated by the wall of pictures of his grandkids all over his office. Boy did he love his grandchildren. He had a 3-ring binder for each of them, full of printouts of the pictures we would email to him, and he carried it just about everywhere. Whenever someone would come by the house, he'd say "let me show you my grandkids," and out came the binders.
My Dad showed me how to love his partner. 70 years together, 65 years married to my Mom.
He loved his dogs, he loved his lunch groups, he loved his Navy reunions, he loved all the good the Shriners did for children...
He loved me, he was there for me all the time, and supported even the dumbest things I did.
My dad hid a lot of his emotion, but you could see it in his actions. My dad loved deeply.
So there you have it, the secret to a happy life, as lived by Mickey Borgersen:
- Laugh easily
- Show up
- Be prepared
- Love deeply
I'm going to miss you terribly Dad. But you should know I learned a lot from you, and I hope I can live up to your example.
Godspeed, old Captain.
Martin Edmund (Mickey) Borgersen
August 7, 1931 - January 20, 2018
